” Aging has done little to shake this crazy lady’s self-esteem. She’s a bit too old to be a cougar, but that doesn’t stop 60-something-year-old Aunt Edna from always being on the prowl for a man.
“I have a body that attracts men … to other women.” – Aunt Edna
That doesn’t get her down though. She can appreciate that other women know they’re beautiful.
“Some ladies are so beautiful, I bet they knew when they were 10-years-old that they were gonna be hot!”
“I also knew when I was 10 that I was gonna be hot … I was living in Arizona.” – Aunt Edna
In 1970, back in her heyday, Aunt Edna was voted Miss Connecticut … River.
For exercise, he carries a grudge for weeks at a time. He jumps … to conclusions. His favorite manly activities include watching TV … and falling asleep while watching TV. He remembers the good ol’ days, when men were men and women were glad of it.
He met his wife at a travel agency. She was looking for a vacation.
“I was the last resort.” – Sal
Forget those Dos Equis ads – Sal is the most interesting man in the world. When in Rome, the Romans do what he does. When a baby is crying, the crying baby starts laughing hysterically the second Sal walks in the room. He counted to infinity, twice. On his birthday, presidents take the day off. He doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he needs a designated driver.
Sal wants to be the world’s oldest rock ‘n’ roll singer. He’s been singing his version of past hits for decades:
The Bee Gee’s “How Do You Mend A Broken Hip,” The Commodore’s “Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom,” Herman Hermits’ “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Walker,” and Larry’s personal favorite, Ringo Starr’s “I Get By With A Little Help From Depends.”
Alright, enough with the geriatrics’ antics! Howie is the spotlight-stealing, sarcastic troublemaker of the trio. You’ll have to excuse his appearance – he hates shaving his 5 o’clock shadow because the sawdust just gets all over the place.
He’s got a real nice tuxedo on, though. But hey, he hates when anybody touches it. He got a real nice deal buying three tuxedos for $20. How did he get such a deal?
“They all got a hole in the back of them.” – Howie
He always keeps a roving eye on the audience, looking for a few good women. And if they are already spoken for, it’s alright because he’s already spoken for too.